baby3194’s blog

QotD: Daydream Believer

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Tue, 13 May 2008 16:51:48 -0700

What do you daydream about? Is it something far-fetched, or something that might actually happen?
Submitted by lost_in_eternity2207.

Mwahh.. well you see.. this question requires me to explain my life on levels you mere voxers will never come to understand. Since I could remember I would daydream about anything. Whether is was what was going to happen tomorrow on the field trip, my wedding day with my crush, me having magical powers that no one knows about, or just about how I'm going to live my life. Daydreaming is what gets me to sleep at night (I guess you wouldn't call it daydreaming.. more like thinking of things that you hope will be your dreams). Daydreaming helps me get through boring lectures when teachers and parents yell. Daydreaming helps me get through boring lessons in school. With out my daydreams.. Jaime just wouldn't be Jaime. So I have to answer that my daydreams USUALLY not all the time but USUALLY start out normally but they always and I mean ALWAYS end in a situation that you,I,and God knows would never happen. Now I say USUALLY because I generally think about my life a lot.. but since my life is a living hell most of the time I doze off more into my brain and think of the inevitable. It always brings a smile to my face. But sometimes of course I just cut right to the chase and think of every possible insane situtation out there. The "what ifs" is what I like to call them. I also have become quite a perfessional.. not once have I been caught in the last year. Before that.. well that's another story to be told of me getting in trouble. I can usually daydream and stay in reality most of the time. But I leave with saying this: If you don't daydream.. you are sooo not human. I think everyone should have crazy thoughts.. and I mean that in no sexual way.. gosh people! Whether they are as far-fetched as mine (being a wizard and having a pet dragon) or your first date with a guy.. I think daydreams keep us going and keep us wanting to find more in life.. cause life IS and adventure after all.

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Vox Hunt: Cut & Paste

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Mon, 12 May 2008 12:05:08 -0700

Ctrl-V (PCs) or Command-V (Macs) Time! Paste whatever text you copied last.

ive been watching all these promos for the past little bit, its like subconciously burning into my head that i need to get ANOTHER copy of their album haha

Mwahh.. shall I explain myself?? I was watching a video about this band (the greatest band EVER) and they were trying to sell their CD and yeaa.. I would say this girl was pretty much right. I really want to go off and buy their CD again! hehe...

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QotD: Sensitivity Chip

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Sat, 10 May 2008 17:31:51 -0700

What are you most sensitive about?

Honestly, I would have to say my family as a whole. Someone mentions my family in any way I instantly get defensive. I think it is the only way I can with deal life. I mean my family is pretty fucked up so I feel obligated to stand up for them and I figure no one understands my family (or my life for that matter) so they have no right to talk about them. Or if someone metions a family moment they had or how close they are to someone in their family I just feel like breaking down and crying cause all I want is that. I guess I'm a freak for thinking that but it is how I've lived my life for the past couple years. Guess it has worked so far.. well kinda..

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QotD: Personality Trait = Trouble

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Sat, 03 May 2008 10:45:31 -0700

What personality trait has gotten you in the most trouble?

hehe.. umm probably my "I can do it myself" attitude. Even if I know I can't do it by myself.. I still yell and scream at people and go deal with it by myself..
Yea.. it sucks when your all alone trying to deal with a HUGE problem but for some damn reason.. I just deal with it alone.. I'll probably never stop doing that though.. I think everything is better when I just do it myself.. not if some dumb ass does it for me.

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The great week ever!!.. so not true..

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 14:40:20 -0700

Well.. this week has just been fine and dandy. First, my school is dumb.. I won't go into detail. Next, one of my teachers and classmates pissed me off at the same time. My teacher sometimes crosses the line and my classmate is just sometimes an ass... and to top of this wonderful week of depression.. I fucked up my knee today in P.E. I jumped in the air to get a vollyball and I landed on my left knee. I'm sitting her with ice on it. The bone didn't break and I can walk. It just hurts really horribly bad. It hurts to bend it. But it is numbing because of the cold so that is why it's better. It's just so faboulous how life treats us mear mortals sometimes.. erggg

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QotD: And of course, the title has to be... Home Alone!

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Sun, 13 Apr 2008 10:43:49 -0700

What happened the first time you were left home alone as a child?
Submitted by Warhead.

Well I don't remember how old I was but I do remember it was only for a couple of hours. And I remember running around screaming and jumping up and down on the couches. I ate food.. than screamed some more. It was truly great. But than my dad came home like 3 hours later. But it seemed like forever in my book. :D

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Happy Birthday my ass..

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Mon, 31 Mar 2008 15:40:44 -0700

I'm gonna curse and it's gonna piss me off.. You know.. I sure complain a lot.. but I would like to think I have a good excuse for doing it. Since the 6th grade I've had a shitty ass birthday. (sorry for the curse words ahead of time.) Why in the hell do I try anymore?? You know I took like 20 steps forward this year and I feel like I've taken 18 back. I do a lot of crap for people. I try to be a decent person. So why in the fuck.. do I get the beating?? Why do I get the bullshit?? All I get is a Happy fucking birthday. After all I do. Gosh damn.. I hate complaining like this. I try hard to be happy and to please people. Now I'm so low.. it doesn't even matter. I just don't want to talk to people for like a week. I haven't been looking forward to holidays or anything for the past 2 years. I didn't have high expectations for my birthday. Yeaa.. 14 isn't THAT wonderful. But you would think someone in this damn world would care. I mean you would think?! Am I just an emo freakk. No more.. this is bull. Bye for now.. I'm done. Don't bother to try to comfort me...

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The Green Monster??

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 22:18:17 -0700

well.. I want to cry. Why is it that I am so jealous?? Gosh. I hate everything. I feel great than I just crash and burn. I did good tonight. You're probably wondering what happened. But it's 12 in the morning and I don't want to reminisce. It's just really hard. I was always "oohh your so cute." Yeaa. when I was 5. Now, I don't get compliments and it is sooo hard. I have a gorgeous friend. Guys love her. I hate being this way. Gosh here comes the tears.... I don't know how to handle it. I hate being the ugly duckling. I tryed hard tonight. I didn't shake when the guys came and talked to me. I tryed to talk back. I can't even tell her that I'm so jealous. She is IMing me and asking what's wrong. I can't tell her. I'm crying and trying to be happy. But you can't when you been ignored your whole life. I hate not having people understand. (I'm just writing things that are popping up in my head. Please bare with me.) What if I am always going to be the "hot girls best friend that doesn't have a guy." I hate this.. :(. She's trying to help. But she doesn't see my tears. And I don't want her to. Maybe it's being 13 but.. I know I'm not attractive. but gosh. I want something god damnit. I don't want to be like this forever. I tried right?? Why doesn't that count in this fucking world?? I'm shaking and crying and I have the worst feeling in my stomach. It hurts soo bad. I can't change my face... but I just wished that girls with some acne and glasses and an over bite could be a little more attractive. I have goosebumps. I don't know. I want to give up.. but I can't. You know?? I gotta push.. but how do you push something you don't have control over....

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Something about mornings.

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 09:54:34 -0700

Something about blogging in the morning is just soo amazing. Well.. 11:43 is morning to me. I'm sitting here in my p.j's just thinking about what's coming next. You know?? Easter is coming up and I'm excited. My birthday is the 31st and I truly know now that I'm growing up. Here's why: When I was little I would write down EVERYTHING on T.V that I thought would be cool to have. Of course they were toys. Now I get asked what I want and I honestly don't know. My mama ordered me 2 t-shirts yesterday and when I go with my dad for Easter I probably am just going to get clothes. Unless I see some cool electronic thing I want. And my mama said she might just give me $30 on my birthday and send me off to Wal-Mart. Now it's just clothes and money. Don't get me wrong.. I'm perfectly fine with that, but still.. something seems wrong. Maybe it's just the fear of growing up. I never thought I would say that but it's true. I signed up for High School and all I can think is .. "how am I going to get all of my credits." "college is in 4 years." "what classes do I need." All of these things pop in my mind and I feel like I have no help. It is truly frustrating. I know I can make it.. but it is just hard. *sigh* Sometimes I think life goes a little to fast...

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Poems??

nobody@vox.com(baby3194) — Wed, 19 Mar 2008 09:42:10 -0700

If when you wake up in the morning,
And the hurting is so great,
You don’t wanna get out of bed,
And face a world of hate.

If everything in life goes wrong,
And nothing you do seems right,
You just try a little harder,
And soon you’ll see the light.

For every person who has put you down,
And filled your life with pain,
You must strive to achieve greatness,
And show them you can win.

For every disappointment,
For the times you are let down,
There will be a better moment,
And your life will turn around.

Because everyone feels heartache,
And everyone feels pain,
But only those who have true courage,
Can get up and try again.
------------------------------------------
Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven’t than tell me why you
judge me as you do.

Have you ever woken up in the morning wondering
if this was you last day on Earth?
Have you ever left you house
unsure if you’d return?

Have you ever sat beneath the stars
hoping God will hear?
Have you ever prayed
to get rid of the fear?

Have you ever tried to hide yourself
behind the things you say?
Have you ever wished
this was the last day?

Have you ever wanted to protect your friends
and everyone in sight?
Have you ever felt such pain
that you cried yourself to sleep at night?

Have you ever lived my life?
Spent one minute in my shoes?
If you haven’t than tell me
why you judge me as you do.

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